For a moment, put yourself in the head of someone who may not have done any martial arts in their life, or may have done martial arts in a more typical male-heavy environment and perhaps had some unpleasant experiences through it. Let's assume that the notion of a rumble session, where a group of people turn up and muck around with bats/hockey sticks/branches/stones/swords is not something that they have ever engaged in. Imagine turning up for a craft lesson, where you're presented with a piece of wood or a lump of metal, and told to make something with it, with you not having a slightest idea of how to start or what tools you need for it. (That has happened to me, by the way.)
Most regular fitness classes that women tend to be familiar with are very highly structured weekly sessions, typically group classes where everyone is expected to do the same thing as demonstrated by an instructor, with possibly some variation in different movements according to individual ability level. There is typically very little physical contact between individuals (except of course in martial arts or team sports). Generally the participants need to provide little in the way of their own equipment; they might bring their own mats to yoga and pilates classes. In martial arts, participants will eventually acquire their own (usually fabric) suits or equipment necessary for sports like Kendo, which is fairly widely available. Typically, class advertisements will briefly describe what is involved and specify if participants need to bring anything.
Further, up until the past couple of years literally ALL of fitness oriented towards women has been focused on their looks, and that is still the situation to a very large extent. Just have a look at ads for gyms and fitness classes: get the beach body for the summer, get the body you've always dreamed of, with added pictures of beautiful young white ladies. Thankfully, lately women's fitness has become more orientated also towards strength and health - but still, particularly in terms of weightlifting, it is presented as a common concern among women that they might become "bulky". I have no idea whether this is a real thing that women worry about or not.
Unless women have done competitive sports in the past, they may feel uncomfortable with the notion of a situation where there is a "loser" and a "winner." Women are traditionally socialised towards working for a community, whether it be family, work community, social community, or society at large, and discouraged from striving for personal victories or things that they might do solely for themselves. (There is a twisted paradox relating to this that I call rivalry between women, but I will return to this in a subsequent post.)
Taking into account all of the above, why on earth would any woman want to take up heavy fighting?
Because despite all of it, there are women who dream about being able to be strong, to be able to fight, to be able to compete, to be able to win against others, to have crazy-ass rough fun, to feel the rush of battles, and to be a knight. Sometimes they don't know how to express it, and sometimes they don't realise that that's what they dream of until they try it out. The trick is to get them in to try it out, and doing it in a way that provides them with the least barrier possible.
I am going to use as example my shire's website, since we had had good success in recruiting women fighters.
1. Use pictures of female fighters. On our front page, the link to the "Armoured Fighting" section contains a photo of two women in armour grinning from ear to ear.
2. Explain what it's about. On our armoured fighting page, we include the following things:
- Description of the activity written for people who know nothing about it
- Emphasis on the safety: equipment, supervision, training, strict rules, safety test (=authorisation)
- Specifically mention "all genders and we welcome everyone" - this shows that we are aware of genders beyond the usual two and that we are prepared to make all of them welcome
- Mention that we train and compete together
- Offer an immediate encouragement for all those who might not be thinking that this is not for them by mentioning technique is more important than size or strength
- Different weapon forms and fighting formats available to whet their appetite
- What happens at practices
- Practice times and details of a contact person
- Emphasise that training is suited to all levels and complete beginners are always welcome
3. Diverse contact persons. We have a female name listed as the contact person, which may have helped with recruitment.
4. Enthusiastic initial contact coded in female language.
Here is my more-or-less standard response to an initial query about fighting practices, with commentary for the current purposes added in:
You will be very very welcome. We are always delighted to get new people joining us. (emphasis on welcoming the newcomer) Armoured fighting is great fun, very safe due to our regulations, a good way to keep fit, and our group is very supportive. (these are the great reasons why you should come along!) Aside from weekly practices, we organise weekend events now and again, and those who wish to, can compete. (Here's what we offer. You don't have to compete if you don't want to) Men and women train together and compete together, and women are not seen as lesser or weaker than men in the sport. (We not only believe but also practice the notion of equality - reassurance)
The venue is xxxx, and the practice runs from 7 pm. If you're driving, there is a small carpark behind the school. Park in the fenced off area right behind the primary school building, as they don't like us using the bigger carpark. Come to the main door at the top of the stairs in the front of the building and ring the doorbell, and someone will come let you in. (Clear instructions how to find us)
My phone number is xxx if you have any problems.
If you have any questions, just let me know. (Making myself available to show willing and enthusiasm to welcome a new person in.)
As a trainer, never forget that you are there for your students. Your students' job is to turn up, to listen to you, to do the exercises to the best of their ability, and to make your job worthwhile by striving to improve themselves. But you need to enable that by building an open, trusting, comfortable relationship from the beginning, and you will need to go the extra way at first. Whether you want it or not, as your students' first trainer, you will become Mr or Ms or Mx Heavy Fighting for them until they get exposure to other fighters and other trainers, and start forming their own concepts of what fighting means for them. What you do is what they will associate with heavy fighting. If you are grumpy, unsupportive, sarcastic or sexist, they will link those qualities with fighting and the fighting community. If you are open, welcoming, available, and take interest in their comfort and wellbeing, they will form a positive image of our beloved art and are that bit more willing to keep turning up for practices.
5. Ongoing communication. Your preferred form of communication will depend on the individuals in your group. You may want to use FB, Whatsapp, email, or something else. If you know practice will not happen at the usual time, communicate this as early as you can - this is particularly important for those women who may have childcare issues. If one of the group announces that they can't make it a particular week, never ever respond with snark, sarcasm, annoyance or anything similar. They are under no obligation to turn up. They may have work or family stuff going on, or a physical or mental issue may have raised its head. You will acknowledge their message and welcome them again the following week.
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